The Everyday War With The Self.

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“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.“

I have always been a person who overthinks everything and, hence, rarely tried anything new.

Since last year, I have been trying to overcome this, but it has been a really difficult journey. Whenever I decide to do something new, all that comes to my mind is: Will I be successful? Is it a good idea? Is it worth all I have to do to get there? Is it worth so much time and effort? Does this even have any value? Do I have any value? Am I good enough? etc etc etc. So many questions keep wandering around in my head. And I have to fight with myself. I have to unlisten to these questions and focus on what I am doing. But this war goes on till I see any value in the things I am doing or working on.

I always know in the beginning that the work I am doing has some worth, but I still doubt myself. I struggle with every step. I now realize that I actually doubt myself and not the actual work.

It's been one year of trying to win this war, and I have realised that I can't stop this chatter, so it's better to ignore it. I can't say I have won it, but I am definitely making progress towards my victory. And that indeed is a victory, because someone has rightly said, "Something is better than nothing."

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